Worst of the Worst: Ugliest NHL Goalies’ Masks

2 12 2008

by Kevin Collins

49hockeyAs I promised in my last post about the coolest goalies’ masks, here is the follow up entry: The Worst. I feel like I first have to say why I think certain masks are cool and others aren’t. I use pretty much three criteria to make my judgments. One: Does the mast properly represent the player’s team? Two: Is there anything on the mask that just doesn’t belong or is incredibly out of place? And three: Basically, does it look cool? Most of these masks failed in every category. Some of them will truly make you wonder just what in the hell some of these people were thinking when they submitted their ideas to their designers. So here we go: the ugliest goalie masks in the NHL… (In no particular order)

all thumbnails have larger resolutions*

dany-sabourin1

Dany Sabourin: Pittsburgh Penguins

Who in their right mind designed this P.O.S.? Look at that Penguin! What the hell is he doing? And I don’t even want to get into that kid on the side. It’s flat out scary.

evgeni-nabokovnoahgrahamgi-klutho1

Evgeni Nabokov: San Jose Sharks

I am well aware the Sharks really don’t have a lot to work with. They’re color scheme is atrocious and there aren’t really any creative things you can do with a Shark – so apparently Evengi just went with some random snow monster. Good job. Go San Jose Scary-Looking-Snowmen! And get your stupid nick-name off the mask.

kari-lehtonenbillwippert1

Kari Lehtonen: Atlanta Thrashers

I’ll start with the random Kill Bill movie characters – because when I think of the Atlanta Thrasher, I think Quentin Tarantino flicks…God knows I don’t know anything else about them. And can someone inform Kari that the Kings logo is the crown – not Atlanta’s.

dipietro1

Rick Dipierto: New York Islanders

You’re American…we get it.

marc-andre-fleurykevinccoxgi1

Marc-Andre Fluery: Pittsburgh Penguins

Yet another Penguin on the list; Fluery’s mask is just boring with that brick pattern. It also doesn’t help that the Penguin looks like a constipated Daffy Duck either.

martin-bironloucapozzola1

Martin Biron: Philadelphia Flyers

Marty, what are you doing dude? Lumberjacks in Philly? You’re old helmet was so cool! It represented the city so well! Plus it looks like that lumberjack is about to fight Pop-Eye.

martin-brodeur1

Martin Broduer: New Jersey Devils

You see what happens when you change to a new mask after the classic one you rocked for all those years? Karma’s a bitch, Marty.

mike-smith1

Mike Smith: Tampa Bay Lighting

Huh?

nikolai-khabibulinjonathandaniel1

Nikolai Khabibulin: Chicago Blackhawks

Despite having the coolest name in hockey, “Habby” has one of the down-right ugliest and most conceited masks in the NHL. How many nicknames can we squeeze on there? The Bulin Wall…really? And those birds suck too.

Those are my least favorite masks in the NHL. However, I have seen one that tops them all. It is by far the worst mask I have ever seen. It’s dull, dense, and inexperienced in a particular game. Hopefully we never have to see it again.

palin1

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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16 responses

31 03 2009
Ashley

FYI…Biron has a lumberjack on his mask because his friends used to make fun of his middle name, Gaston, and made up a character which was a lumberjack “Gaston”……Stupid? maybe…

1 04 2009
Kevin Collins

stupid…yes

2 07 2009
Chris

Mike smith’s is going all ‘Saw’ on us…bad one. Marty’s lumberjacque is not all bad better than most. And Sabo’s is screaming ‘I’m a scary dude in a bad way’ kind of feel.

3 04 2010
Ryan

Mike smith has the saw theme because the owner of Tampa bay produced saw or had something to do with it

13 07 2009
sara palin is hot

Sara Palin is hot!!!!!!!!

11 08 2009
Simon The Goalie

Umm, Sabourin’s “baby-faced” mask represents his infant daughter, for your info. As for the other masks, I completely agree; they’re dreadful. Especially DiPietro’s. Wouldn’t mind if he actually were the best American goalie in hockey, but he isn’t even THAT good!

24 08 2009
Simon The Goalie

Also, Fleury has the ice cube wall in homage to Stéphane Fiset’s mask, which had a very similar design. Marc-André Fleury was a huge Fiset fan growing up.

28 09 2009
Yo.

Man you have some pretty bad picks, most of these masks are great looking.

9 10 2009
adam

seriously if u knew a thing or two about hockey and being a goalie btw which i am a goalie u should know that when u have a mask it dosent have to directly relate to the team as long as u have the teams logo on it or some small piece on it which relates….most masks are personal interest or how they feel or what they like or nicknames or representations of themselves or their thaughts….i think all those masks up there are good and unique in their own way. its like me saying something u like is ugly u like that car well i think its ugly…its ur opinion…like mike smiths mask is crazy looking its unique…think about it if every goalie only had the symbol and something related to the team like a lightning bolt how boring would that be? instead of having this site dedicated to showing us how ugly the masks are maybe u should invest the time to research what the meaning behind the masks are and write a description of the masks under their pics….dont hate on them because they have a certain style or taste in things….no disrespect to you…i just wanted to let u know tho.

26 12 2009
Sam

So, why don’t all the other players get to have their self expression on their helmets?

3 04 2010
Ryan

Know the stroies behind all the masks before you decide that they suck.

25 06 2010
bill

Now this may all come down to personal preference,
but you really should do some research before you
attempt to chirp the masks.

10 07 2010
burp

dude,
Get a clue. Some aren’t great but that’s just another opinion. We all have em’
Ricky D’s brother is a US Marine so the iwo jima memorial mask.

Lehtonens crown is for Sweden..

Fluery’s is an igloo which is the nickname of the arena they play in…

3 03 2011
sherry shabatura

As many of the others have said the masks are personal and I think most of the masks rock I am just a chick who loves the game of hockey and has the highest respect for goalies By the way Flame rule

12 01 2012
Bsjoort Slveestereinennenfeld

You are a filthsperson!

7 07 2017
Actual Goalie

You have the worst opinion on goalie masks I’ve ever seen.
If you play hockey, quit.

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