Intervention needed. In a hurry!

24 09 2008

by John Schlupf


Several NFL teams have gotten off to brutal starts and have fans wondering how can this be?

For those 0-3 franchises (and 1-2 near misses), their faithful followers are thinking that the team brain trusts have had all off-season, pre-season, and this is the result?

Queen City fans may have it the worst. An off-season of shame, bizarro name changes, and a desperation rehire all have the fans and players reeling. Cero and dieciséis is more like a phrase the Bengals ought to get used to, versus Ocho Cinco. Palmer and company almost stole one from the defending Super Bowl champions Sunday, but collapsed and allowed a Giant drive similar to the one that ruined the Patriots perfect season. With top-notch players at skill positions, the striped ones must be lacking strength on the line of scrimmage. Head coach Marvin Lewis is on the hottest seat there is and surprisingly Cleveland’s Romeo Crennel is not far from the flames.

The Brownies have to be this year’s biggest disappointment. After just missing the Promised Land last year at 10-6, most pundits felt this was their year to win a playoff game. However, Derek Anderson has fallen from a promising young QB to the waiver wire scrap heap, imminently losing his job to Brady Quinn. Watch for DA to be holding the clipboard any day now. Jamal Lewis is acting more like…Jamal Lewis. Maybe they surprised everyone last year, and this is the second time through the lineup.

Looking more like the sphincter of a cat that can’t clean itself, the Kansas City Chiefs are on the road to nowhere. Trying to provide some relief for the deprived fans who sat through another losing Royals season (one season above .500 since 1993), they have already lost to Oakland and Atlanta! KC has gone 4-15 since the beginning of last year, and is currently the proud owner of a 12 game losing streak.

The only squad in worse times might be the St. Louis Rams. Marc Bulger, a pro-bowler such a short time ago, has fallen prey to the “I turned 30” QB curse. When you are a benched as a healthy scratch in favor of an elderly journeyman (Trent Green in this case), it is time to pick up some of those post office change-of-address forms. At least it isn’t Gus Ferrotte replacing him, but Bulgers confidence must be at an all time low. What happened to the number 2 pick in last years draft Chris Long? Granted it is early, but Gateway City fans could be looking at a purebred transforming into a mutt.

As far as the other 0-3 teams go, Houston is still an expansion team and Detroit is a complete shambles. Patriots fans are miffed at losing the first regular season game in 22 tries, and left Gillette Stadium in a huff over it. Ford Field has averaged 60,000+ fans a game, and this is all while going 28-71 in the past 6+ years. After the mid-point in 2007, the power-blue and white were 6-2. Yes, that’s right, 6-2! Eight weeks later, a useless victory against Kansas City (see above) prevented a second-half goose egg. 2008 is more of the same, kicking off the schedule with three losses that include a mauling at the hands of the Falcons and ‘Niners.

Miami narrowly averted intervention when it gave an ass whuppin’ to the offense-less and defense-less New England Patriots. Many consider this a relapse of their consistently pathetic play, and surely will have them fallen off the wagon by seasons end.

So, for all you followers of these biggest losers, gather your closest brethren and realize the misery ahead. If you can imagine every Sunday as the bye week it might not be so bad.




7 responses

24 09 2008
Michael Gill

I think Cleveland was nearly as overrated as Minnesota was….they were FRAUDS from Day 1. Anyone who thought this was a good team with that defense doesnt know football.

24 09 2008
Michael DeLuca

Nice to finally hear from you John. Good article. I don’t know that I’d say Crennel is on the hot seat just yet, their schedule has been pretty rough thus far…though the loss to Baltimore didn’t help.

24 09 2008

It is Trent Green replacing Bulger, not Dilfer. Also, I wouldn’t consider Houston an expansion team anymore. Five years is a long time in NFL years….they actually had some expectations this year.

24 09 2008

I think thats a bit too over-stated with Cleveland. They got blown out by Dallas (but the birds gave up 41 as well 13 more than Cleveland). I admit they were a bit too over-hyped but i didn’t think they were this bad. They were a 10 win team last year, and they have thus far played Dallas (best in football), Pittsburgh (and only gave up 10 points) and Baltimore, who’s defense scored a touchdown and turned the ball over two other times setting up great field position. They only gave up 273 total yards. They have Shaun Rogers who is a perrenial pro-bowler, Corey Williams who is a double digit sack guy and pro bowler last year, Kamerion Wimbley, Andra Davis, and Brodney Pool. Their corners do stink, but the way the schedule shakes down they should have been 8-8 or 9-7 entering the season. Over-rated, yes. Frauds, no. They are who we thought they were and maybe a bit worse.
They should have traded for Lito Sheppard, and they over valued Wllie McGinist and some of their other pass rushers, and Jamal Lewis. With a corner, a hybrid LB defender, and a new RB to spell Lewis they should be back in the picture next year.

Did I forget to mention Derek Anderson fits the mold of your statement: Fraud and way over rated. All though, Quinn may not be all that good either.

24 09 2008

I agree. They are Frauds, they won 10 games on a last place schedule and people over-looking them. People were dumb to pick them this season with the scheudle they had. People knew they had a tough schedule, but still picked them.

25 09 2008
John Schlupf

Thanks for reading and commenting MG, MD, John and Kenny! Thanks for flagging my mistake – when I think of “Trent”, Dilfer automatically came to mind and I never gave it a second thought. Plus, all my proofreaders missed it!
Thanks a million!

Yea, Cleveland could turn it around. I agree with y’all on that. But you’ve got it admit, 0-3?

25 09 2008

Yea, they stink bad. But…..i didn’t think they would. They have a lot of talent even on defense, and their D has not been their achilles this year, their QB and O-line play has doomed them. Jamal Lewis hasnt helped the cause either, and now he’s bitching. 1-2 after three weeks wouldnt surprise me given the schedule, but now they look like a 6-10 team or perhaps 7-9. They are talented enough for 9-7 and that would have been where they should have fallen given talent, schedule, etc. But, again, thats why they play the games.

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